Tag: God


‘What are you doing Violet?’

I’m here, home, in the sunshine, the garden, hanging out…’

‘Yes, but what are you doing Violet?’

‘Here, I told you, hanging, in my robe, it’s pretty, pink, silky, I’m in the garden..’


‘I’m naked underneath. The sun on my skin, feeling really good.’


‘You asked me, I’m telling you, I’m home, feels so good, so damn good…’

He put the phone down.

Oh God God, I get it, God…

I think he wanted to hear me say I’m atoning.

I called him back.

‘Yes yes, I’m atoning, yes, sorry, it felt so good, it feels so good….’

He laughed.

And said God bless. 

Thank goodness it’s okay to atone in many different ways.

Have a blessed day, Jewish readers, all readers, everywhere, the whole world, peace, love, to all of you.



Good good good vibrations.

I am not a religious person, but I think I may have finally achieved spiritual enlightenment.

My God has come in the form of a tool, an object, a toy.   It’s purple, it’s smooth and it’s very, very stylish.

And unbelievably sexy.

It’s a little Je Joue G-Kii vibrator and I’m not sure anything has bought me such je joy before.

Apart of course from my children, the bottle of Veuve Clicquot La Grande Dame 2004 that I once downed in a bubble bath and the petit four I ate ten years ago in the most fantastic boulangerie in Paris.

I’ve never forgotten that petit four. And I shall never forget these orgasms. Mainly because I’m going to keep having them.

This toy does something that not many toys (or men) can do.

It gets the G-Spot and the clit at the same time.

At. The. Same. Time.

Girlfriends! Has this happened to you before?

It’s cleverly designed. Not only can you adjust the settings (1-5, 5 being a little too strong for me, 4 being perfect) but you can adjust the shape.  It kind of happens organically.

You start off, as you do, slowly, with small round circles on your clit. And then, as you do, a little bit faster and a little bit faster and then magically and then somehow, I don’t know how, it bends and moves and enters and OH MY GOD, there you go, over and over and over. Organically.


It’s amazing and I recommend it, but there are some problems. Like you may never leave your bedroom again, you’ll always be breathless and your underwear will constantly need washing.

But it’s so worth it!


In the name of God, I order you – get to The Bedroom now.  Or order one online. I promise you’ll thank me.