Tag: french champagne

A seasonal lover

Come over to my house tonight?

No Violet, you come to me.

Oh come on, come here, I have a fantastic fire. And soup…

I have central heating and French champagne sweetheart. Also, my car’s in for a service.

Yeah, but –  French Champagne? Ugh still. Then I have to get up, get in my car, it’s freezing outside, I’m lazy,  I don’t feel like putting on clothes and…

I also have chocolate.

I don’t care about chocolate.

Goddammit stop being difficult, I’ve been looking forward to this all day.

You know it’s like zero degrees out there, and did I mention I’m lazy, also it’s so cosy here, my dog’s on my lap, I’m reading a great book, a fantastic book in fact…

Oh come on, you’re choosing your book over me?

Sorry.  Yip.

I put the phone down on him.

And that’s the thing about winter. It’s just too hard to have a lover.

We’ll try again in Spring.


What makes a man sexy.

He wears a kikoi.

Knows his whisky.

And his jazz.

Has stubble.

Fries a perfect egg.


Dives headfirst into rivers.

Dives naked headfirst into rivers.

Calls you darling. But never babe.

Knows your shoe size.

Loves dogs.

Stays fit.

Is often silent.

Can sharpen a knife.

And shoot straight.

Wears flannel shirts.

Buys you French underwear. And French champagne.

Can make a fire. Anywhere.

Gardens in the nude.

Phones his mother.

Uses punctuation.

Never texts in capitals.

Has hard strong upper arms.

Sometimes smells of sweat. Sometimes smells of gun oil.

Wears aftershave. Even if he doesn’t shave.

Buys art.

Drives a man car.  One you can haul firewood in.

Chops the firewood.

Has scars on his hands. But well kept nails.

Clean feet.

Wears a good watch. And no other jewellery.

Tips well.

Is always polite to waiters.

Smokes the occasional cigar.

Often runs your bath.

Gets in with you. Soaps your back.

Cycles to work.



Looks good in a suit.

Throws a flyline.

Laughs uproariously.

Winds the windows down on a road trip.

And is self sufficient in every single way.

Until it comes to you.