I once said that working from home was 30 percent working and 70 percent checking the fridge I was wrong it’s ninety percent checking the fridge and ten percent online shopping. Oops, never been good at math.
let’s have sex, he said I’m reading a book, I said and it’s 3000 pages haha #haiku
It’s Valentine’s Day and whatever you do do not send a nude to the guy you only slept with once or twice the one who never called you again. Stop, Violet, stop, right now, stop. Click. Happy Valentine’s Day y’all. And so much love…
It’s been seven days and I’ve told you not a thing about my sex life. #haiku
being a little overweight or even a lot is absolutely fine it’s true nobody cares or notices here is an ode to fat hello fat you’re just fine as you are you’re lovely perfect and sexy pass the fucking cheese please.
I may be a Jew but sweet god I love Christmas Dior for me please. #Haiku
Why why why do I always have sex when the weather is so damn hot Winter is a much better idea because I do not sweat also there’s wine and chocolate Maybe it was just stupid anyway to fuck on the oven. A POEM.