‘So what are your favourite books, Violet?’ I didn’t even think before I gave an answer. ‘We Rate Dogs is number one, definitely’, I said, referring to the new coffee table book that came out a couple of weeks ago. He looked at me with … Continue reading On dogs, horoscopes and reading.
My first words at the Nirox Word festival were ‘You gotta be kidding?’. This was me after paying a pretty steep R 360 entrance fee, having my water and snacks confiscated and then being asked for another R 100 for a yoga session. But in … Continue reading Words
A lot of my friends are downscaling, including me. We’re sorting out, tossing and embracing a new uncluttered lifestyle. We’re buying less stuff and we’re keeping less stuff. And in the same way we don’t need 10 pairs of jeans, 26 pairs of shoes or … Continue reading Books
I was going to write about BOOKS and bloody autocorrect changed it to BOOBS and thank the sweet goddesses because whom amongst us reads books anymore anyway. My reading has taken a severe dip. This is not a good thing. In fact, it makes things … Continue reading Boobs
I remember sitting in my car years ago, waiting for my child to finish another Bar Mitzvah lesson. It was always a tedious hour, for him and for me. Until one day he discovered there actually was meaning tucked deeply behind all those Hebrew words. And he … Continue reading Nora Ephron
So I sat at my dining room table yesterday, chair in, back straight, legs crossed, phone in hand, and I sexted.
All very short. Easy writing.
Today I sat down to work on my book. Same book I’ve been working on for years. I used to write a few pages a day. Then, a page a day. That became a paragraph. Now, a couple of sentences.
These days I write short.
A few words and I’m done.
It’s the times we live in. It’s not that I don’t want to write lots anymore. I can’t. I am so distracted and I know it’s because of this digital age.
It’s the same as reading. I used to get through four books a month Now, if I get through one I think it’s fabulous and I tell everyone I know, hey hey, I read a book.
We have all become used to short.
And we’re all distracted. Apparently it’s something about our brains and dopamine and we see one thing but there’s something else to look at and our brains get excited and unfocused and let me just check my emails and look at twitter and one more tweet and oh let me see that article and that video and….
BUT IT’S OKAY!
I am not in a panic. It is what it is.
And I have decided that I don’t need to write books. Or stories. Or even blogs.
I can just stick to titles.
Here are some that I did today.
Other peoples shoes. Fashion.
This chocolate ice cream. A love story.
I want him, now. Erotica.
Get yourself that frock. Inspirational.
I dropped my last valium. Horror.
I got dressed for gym. Memoir.
I also want to climb the Trump Tower. Fitness.
The whisky bottle is empty. Disaster.
Much better. Easy to write, easy for you to read, everyone’s happy, go check Facebook, look at Instagram, and hey, look at that tweet, cool, thanks, see ya, oh man, is this my blog, where am I, what was I even writing…
Come over to my house tonight?
No Violet, you come to me.
Oh come on, come here, I have a fantastic fire. And soup…
I have central heating and French champagne sweetheart. Also, my car’s in for a service.
Yeah, but – French Champagne? Ugh still. Then I have to get up, get in my car, it’s freezing outside, I’m lazy, I don’t feel like putting on clothes and…
I also have chocolate.
I don’t care about chocolate.
Goddammit stop being difficult, I’ve been looking forward to this all day.
You know it’s like zero degrees out there, and did I mention I’m lazy, also it’s so cosy here, my dog’s on my lap, I’m reading a great book, a fantastic book in fact…
Oh come on, you’re choosing your book over me?
I put the phone down on him.
And that’s the thing about winter. It’s just too hard to have a lover.
We’ll try again in Spring.