I was invited to lunch at the fabulous La Petite Maison, an intimate bistro in Melville, Johannesburg.  It was a menu launch for food writers, bloggers and influencers, a launch to get La Petite Maison firmly on the foodie map.

The restaurant is in my hood and has been open for a few weeks.  Every time I walk past, which is daily, I am forced to peek through the windows. The beauty draws me in.  It’s sexy, with a mustard coloured velvet banquette, ink blue walls, low lighting, bar stools with black tassels that you just want to sit on wearing a silk dress that slides up your left thigh, have a man put his hand on your leg, sip champagne, I’m getting carried away but it’s very French and very sexy and anyway!

I was surprised when the invite came in.  I’m not a food blogger.  I use words like holy fuck delicious and oh god yes please Jesus Christ this is fantastic.

Not so much magazine stuff.

‘Are you sure you want me to come?’ I asked the PR.  ‘I don’t really write about food.’

The answer was yes. We’d be delighted to have you.

And so on the day I put on a pair of heels, a little red lipstick and walked up to 7th Street.  I could already see myself perched on a barstool.

There were about a dozen food bloggers. Mostly young, mostly beautiful, very well dressed, and all pretty damn knowledgeable about their food and wine.  

A glass or two of champagne, a bit of a media spiel, and then we sat, at our sexy tables, eating our very sexy food.  The people at my table were fun.  Hip, young, black, white, gay, straight, super fashionable, super foodie, super influential. 

And super on their phones. 

That was the point of the meal.  So everyone would photograph and hashtag and post and do their bit and get the message out there.  La Petite Maison is fab.  Which it is and it’s just what Johannesburg needs.  Something playful, sophisticated and sexy.

Fine dining at its best.  

With a really fabulous selection of wine.

I wanted to post live updates too.  But I found it tricky.  The invite was for a gourmet traveler lunch.  My phone kept changing it to a horny traveler lunch.  Also I’d run out of data, didn’t have my glasses and the food was too fucking good to focus.

I’m glad I couldn’t post.  We had so much fun, tasting, eating, drinking and talking. I got to know one of the other not a food blogger, hashtagger or influencer, and we laughed and ate and tried to think of good food words like sublime, delicate, succulent, infused, braised, heady, fluffy, something a bit more than oh oh oh god how do they do this.

We came up with sexy.

La Petite Maison is sexy. The chefs are sexy, in that very squid ink splashed chef kind of way.  The restaurant is sophisticated,  glam but not formal and perfect for romance, a celebration, a girl’s night out, a solo dinner, a business lunch, a DATE! 

A date.

I would like my next date to be at La Petite Maison.  

Gentlemen?  Are you listening?

I still haven’t sat on the bar stools.  And I have a new frock to wear.  It’s silk.  It will slide, perfectly.

Is there anyone out there, hot and gorgeous, that I can influence to come with me?

Because I too am an influencer.

And I really recommend La Petite Maison, Melville.

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La Petite Maison, 7th Street, Melville.  Tel: 078 280 0493 / 010 593 7986.  Or go to their FB page and book on Dine Plan.   https://www.facebook.com/MaisonMelville/