Meg Wolitzer wouldn’t mind

I left a book in an airport trolley a few days ago and as soon as I realised, felt totally devastated.  I had about sixty pages to go, it was a wonderful book and I was completely and utterly engrossed.  

I immediately put out an alert on Facebook.

Help. I’ve lost my book  ‘The Female Persuasion’, author Meg Wolitzer.  If anyone has a copy – please please can I borrow it.’

My cry for help was met by a deathly silence. Well, it got two likes which was a bit silly because there was nothing to like, I LOST A BOOK, but still.  

Nobody offered me their copy.

Hmmm, I thought.  Fools. They don’t know Meg Wolitzer.  She is the most wonderful author, witty, funny, engaging, and this book, oh god, this book touches on everything about women today – sexuality, sex, feminism, #MeToo, confusion, fabulousness, everything.

It’s fantastic.  And I had lost my copy.

That evening I was chatting to a friend.

‘Can you believe no-one wants to lend me their book,’ I said.  ‘Buncha cunts.’

Meg Wolitzer, by the way, uses the word cunt a lot in her book.  It’s kind of why I love her.

‘Violet,’ she said very quietly.  ‘Remember the Joan Didion I lent you?  I don’t think you’ve given it back yet.’

‘It’s next to my bed darling.  I will return it.  Why? Are you in a hurry?’

‘Uh, no, just a gentle reminder.’

And then I stopped dead in my tracks. 

I remembered a book I had borrowed from a woman in my yoga class. It was following a conversation and she’d said:-

‘Oh Violet, you must read this book it’s  brilliant, I have a very special copy, it’s old and fragile.  But please borrow it.’

Thank you so much, I had said, and of course I will give it back to you.

Shit, I suddenly thought.  I’d had the book for months and hadn’t read it.  Or returned it.  Or even seen it for a while. Shit shit shit.

I jumped off the couch and started looking.


I found lots of other interesting things including the silver bullet vibrator that I thought was long gone and how lovely it was still charged and amazing, but – nope, no book.

It was nowhere to be found.  

And I realised what I had done.

A little pavement library popped up in my neighbourhood a few months ago and I’d taken a pile of books to put inside it.  And I didn’t mean to, and I hadn’t realised I had done it, but – her book was in my pile.

The pavement library works on a ‘help yourself’ basis.  Take anything you want.  Replace if you can.  Enjoy.  Read.  Take another one.

The book is long gone and I have no way of tracking it down.

I am one of those cunts, just like Meg Wolitzer says.

I cannot put out another alert on Facebook, I will lose the few friends I have left.

And I am frantically looking for a copy online. 

It’s called ‘The Sunburned Queen,’ author Hazel Crampton.

I cannot tell you if it’s good or not, I haven’t read it.

And while you’re at it, ‘The Female Persuasion.’

In case you find either of them.  I promise I’ll look after them.

I am a terrible person to lend things to.

It’s not acceptable, I know.

But this is a cry for help…

pick a book



11 thoughts on “Meg Wolitzer wouldn’t mind

  1. I love these community libraries that keep popping up, we have a few in this country too. Just a little box to put books into and take books out of, but such a wonderful idea, especially when the actual public libraries are closing at an alarming rate (our government are, to be blunt, a bunch of cunts).

    I’m afraid I can’t help with finding the books you’re looking for though 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t know why, but this phrase made me love you: “Help. I’ve lost my book ‘The Female Persuasion’, author Meg Wolitzer. If anyone has a copy – please please can I borrow it.’” Did you realize that you were stop stressed that you forgot the “?” mark? There is utter sweetness in it. I was going to say just go buy another copy. It doubly supports the author. I am so glad you found a book you love. If your friend’s were really bothered, they would tell you. I am reading all kinds of books: Robert Hughes’ The Spectacle of Skill, Tirdad Zolghadr’s Traction, F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Beautiful and Damned, Wilhelm Stekel’s Sexual Aberations, Sundays in August by Patrick Modiano, Will Self’s Phone, among others, I am sure. And I went into a bookstore tonight and bought the 113 and 115 editions of Granta. I also have three and a half shelves of books in my kitchen cabinets that I have yet to start. I am also listening to music I have been writing. It is a happy time.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. My Dear Violet: A list of things I would not lend you just flew through my brain. I am sorry for the rebuked but not returning a book…its a mortal sin in my book! I would lend you my vibrator though.

    Liked by 1 person

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