Tainted love

I lost my virginity in Israel. It isn’t all I did there. I hitch hiked my way around the country, I smoked hashish and I worked in the cotton fields on a kibbutz. I loved the place, the people, and more than anything, the freedom.

Israel, probably in a delusional kind of way, felt free. There were soldiers everywhere, but they carried their guns loosely, they smoked on street corners, they wolf whistled and flirted and dear sweet Jewish gods it was so much fun.

That was more than twenty years ago. Israel today is a different country. They’ve still got gorgeous men and hashish and cotton fields, but they’ve also got blood on their hands.

So much blood.

And I feel ashamed and appalled and sickened at what the Israeli government and military are doing right now. They’re killing Palestinians.

But the Palestinians are not exactly angels either.

It’s a complicated bloody war.

I sometimes wonder what happened to my guy, the one who put a red scarf over the bedside light to make the room ‘a little more romantic.’ He was a Moroccan Jew. Or a Moroccan Arab Jew. A Jewish Arab. A Jew. An Arab. I think he had a bit of everything in him.

I hope so.

I hope he stood for peace.

I hope we can go back to peace.

Because I don’t know how this ends anymore. And as a Jew, I don’t understand it.

8 thoughts on “Tainted love

  1. 😔

    I saw the Frontline episode about Myanmar last night. After returning from the south of France, and seeing the vast numbers of northern African refugees begging in the streets of Marseille. I too stand confused about the lack of tolerance and the outright hatred of others because of ideology? It would be comparable to saying you hate a breed of dogs, when you’re a dog lover. Such contradictory beliefs and behaviors is appalling and downright stupidity!!! Don’t tell me you believe in God (any version will suffice) and that you lack tolerance or even hate those whose similar choice fails to align with yours and your fellow believers…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes. Comparable to to South Africa where we went through apartheid and terrible atrocities and yet today we have the most xenophobic of nations.
      It’s all bloody awful.
      Kindness. And peace. I stand with anyone who stands up for their struggle, peacefully. Although – CONFUSED – because I also understand why the suppressed take to violence.

      Liked by 1 person

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