How to delete Facebook and a whole lot of other stupid ideas.

I’ve had stitches twice from dropping my laptop on my face, scrolled for hours without actually looking at anything, missed deadlines, lost clients, gone through a few break ups because of my addiction and now – only now – bloody Mark Zuckerberg is in trouble for doing all sorts of bad Facebook things.

My friends are in a panic, oh my god, change your settings, do this, don’t do that, never play a game, quit the dog videos, the cat videos, the stupid cooking videos.

I have no issue quitting the cooking videos. I never watched them anyway. And I don’t mind if I never see another cat in my life.  (except one, Helen.)

But dog videos?

And clandestine kind of liaisons on Facebook’s messenger app?

Why would I ever give those up?

Facebook is fab. I’ve wasted 15 years of my life on it but they’ve been great years. I’ve made fantastic new friends, connected with old ones, played too much scrabble but those seven letter words aren’t going to get made without me, and okay, I probably shouldn’t have sent all those nudes but hey, it’s been SO MUCH FUN.

And there’s not that much about me that needs to be private anyway.

My data is kind of irrelevant.

Or is it?

In a panic, brought on not just by my friends but by every single screaming newspaper headline, I thought about deleting Facebook.  First, I downloaded my Facebook data. It took about 15 minutes. I had everything, EVERYTHING, since 2004, all my blurry photos, my posts about the moon –  2004 was a great year for the moon –  copies of every single message even the ones I had deleted, all my nudes and guys, I looked pretty damn hot in some of them, and some of those sexy texts and holy shit, I used to have a lot of fun on Facebook.

This is what I learned.

I don’t want to delete my Facebook.

What I do want to do is go back to having fun. I don’t want the pics of dying dogs or dying people. I do want poetry and art and real news and Netflix recommendations and flirtations and okay, if I’m honest, I do want to send more nudes.

You want to see?

Oh, thank god.  Nice? Cool.  Yes, oooooh.

Except.

I just dropped my phone on my forehead Again.

There’s a bit of blood.

But hey, who cares. The scars are kind of endearing, and you know, I like having a good time here.

So.

How to delete Facebook and other Social Media apps?

The answer is don’t do it.

But you can improve stuff by updating your privacy settings.

Just ask someone else how to do it.

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30 thoughts on “How to delete Facebook and a whole lot of other stupid ideas.

  1. Honey, I know you don’t follow or read my blog, but I think its time you pay it forward and pay attention. I LOVE YOUR WORK, TRULY I DO!!! I HAVE BEEN READING YOU FOR YEARS. But honestly, enough already, you need to stop being so full of yourself and fucking selfish just collecting followers here and not paying it forward. WRITERS MUST UNITE!!! I mean fuck woman I am a fucking KICK ASS WRITER, probably even better than you, (sorry), and I am living on shitty disability, struggling with bipolar disorder, not even getting paid for this SHIT. I mean I understand you are outspoken AND LOVE SEX, honestly that’s why I admire the shit out of you, BUT DO YOU HONESTLY THING YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING, LOVES FUCKING PORN, CAN WRITE THE STEAMIEST EROTICA? Get over yourself, seriously. Pay attention to those who love you.

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  2. Individuals caring a portion of the responsibility for how they engage any social media platform. Hell, the largest credit reporting agency in America was hacked, and acted as though “WTF” about the entire deal! You’re absolutely right V in that people should go about their lives finding joy, and stop watching the goddamned news😎

    Liked by 1 person

  3. In 2005 it was still The Facebook and limited to a few Ivy League campuses. I know this because we had a Visiting Prof from William and Mary U who showed me this wonderful thing that allowed him to keep in touch with his students while he was in SA.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. In 2005 it was still The Facebook and limited to a few Ivy League campuses. I know this because we had a Visiting Prof from William and Mary U who showed me this wonderful thing that allowed him to keep in touch with his students while he was in SA.

    Like

    1. not to mention the latest scandals etc.
      and you can hide the people you don’t like, or the racism, or the skinned animals, it really can become overwhelming.
      at the same time, I have really met the most amazing people via social media so I am a bit of fan.
      never mind the (hahah) online sex.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You own this blog, it behooves you to be nice. My blog is private and sad and angry and I can be as judgey as I want to be about trolling/inciting a riot/trying to intice people to read their blog by calling you out…. childish. LolZ I’m over that shit. There’s no cheese down that hole for me.

        Liked by 1 person

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