This morning on Facebook I read a beautiful, heartfelt post, written by a friend who was really missing her mom. Her mom died a long time ago but the loss was still deeply profound.
The post made me think of the kinda weird day I had last week. In an act of work procrastination I’d started cleaning out my drawers. I’d found a jewellery box, one that I knew was there but that I never really open.
I opened it and inside were a few things my mother had given me before she died. A ring, necklaces and a set of pearls
I put one of the necklaces on and suddenly, just like my friend above, missed my mother deeply. It’s been four years.
Feeling out of sorts, and you know that procrastination thing, I took myself off to see a movie.
I’d wanted to see Lady Bird for a while and this was the right moment. I knew Lady Bird was a mother / daughter story, what I didn’t know was how poignant and tender it would be. It’s beautiful and meaningful and also the kind of movie that makes you want to call the people you love.
I couldn’t call my mom but I called my dad to say hi.
‘Hi Dad, just checking in, all cool?’
‘All cool,’ he replied at the tender age of 89.
I got home, took off the pearls, painted my toenails (you know that thing of not doing anything all day) and just then the phone rang.
‘Violet, hey, would you mind…’
It was a friend’s daughter who needed help with something. Her beautiful mom had died recently and she needed to borrow ‘another mom’ for a few minutes.
It didn’t matter that I had nail polish everywhere, I jumped in the car and headed over. It was lovely and easy and motherly and cool. And sad, too.
I was really glad I could help.
And then on the way home, my phone beeped again. I looked at it, thinking my mother would have yelled at me saying ‘NOT WHILE YOU’RE DRIVING,’ and there was a message from my son. He’s studying medicine and doing his obstetrics block.
He was talking quickly about his day, the babies, the births, the beauty, the awe, the bonds. And the mothers.
I called him back immediately. You know that thing of calling the people you love.
‘Hey,’ I said. ‘It’s your mom.’
‘Yeah, I know…’
I carried on.
‘Mostly I just wanted to tell you that I love you…’
‘Yeah, ‘he said. ‘I know. I love you too.’