Aziz, Grace and H&M

This morning I woke early and wrote tons on Aziz and Grace and the bullshit article that BABE published.

I wrote about how strongly I felt that while he was a bit of a cunt she was wrong to publicly shame him and yeah the sex wasn’t great, he should’ve read the signs, he didn’t read the signs, she sat naked at his feet, he did things she didn’t like, still she stayed, it wasn’t good, he didn’t listen, still she stayed. It took her a hellova long time to leave.

And then weeks later she wrote a horrible article that should never have been published and Aziz was publicly shamed. He did some stuff wrong, for sure, but he didn’t abuse her. They had a bad night, they both have stuff to learn from it.

And then I read my article again and thought I was coming on too strong against Grace. Also I read at least a billion think pieces and was surrounded by newspapers and magazines and stories on Aziz and his behaviour and Grace and her behaviour and I thought this is so complicated and ugh I just don’t know anymore, I don’t want to write anything and oh shit what if I am losing my voice.

What if because of political correctness I don’t want to say what I’m feeling.

And now I’m going to move on to H&M in South Africa and you might know about this. H&M made a stupid ad with a pic of a black kid wearing a hoodie with the text ‘Coolest Monkey in the Jungle.’ And most of South Africa went wild and ja it was an insensitive ad but H&M apologised immediately and withdrew the ad and even so their shops were trashed like really trashed and a ton of money was lost and people will lose jobs and you know, it’s not good.

None of it is good.

It was a bad date.
It was a stupid ad.

Did either of them, deserve what happened? I don’t think so, even after the billion think pieces I’ve read today.

But I’m a little scared to say what I really think. And that’s about political correctness. What if I’m perceived as anti-women or racist.

Aziz and Grace.
H&M.

Weren’t they both just stupid idiotic mistakes.

And can’t I use my voice and call them that, without feeling a little afraid of upsetting people.

And then move on and focus on the really bad stuff.

Because there is a helluva lot of that to focus on.

https://babe.net/2018/01/13/aziz-ansari-28355

https://mobile.nytimes.com/2018/01/15/opinion/aziz-ansari-babe-sexual-harassment.html

https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2018/01/the-humiliation-of-aziz-ansari/550541/?utm_source=atlfb

https://www.newslaundry.com/2018/01/17/aziz-ansari-masculinity-bad-sex-babe-article-patriarchy

(There are a million more to read but then you’ll be as completely fucking confused as I am)

14 thoughts on “Aziz, Grace and H&M

  1. its not always political correctness, which is a vague term gone awry, its more like decent correctness. You wrote well and thoughtful on how you felt at the top and then fell into the pc trap. Folks will comment on your thoughts and maybe correct you which then you can assimilate as well yes I may have been wrong there. Yet that’s not pc, that’s being decent and learning. Look whats happening in US w Trump. He states a nasty thought and his whole party tries to cover for him. Now that is PC. Or cowardice. Either way, cowards or pc, the Con party in the US ALWAYS blame PC on their rivals, but they use it whenever they need. That is much different than your well spoken and well chosen words above before your pc police arrived.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s so difficult because the issue, the harassment, is so sensitive. I have been having a heated debate with my wife over the past week on it. Me on the side of Grace, her on the side of Aziz strangely enough.
    The problem is, to me, is that every commonly accepted norm in regards to sex is being put to the test. In the past a “really bad date” could be considered if the guy pulled his dick out and started jerking off in the car after dinner. Now that is considered sexual harassment.
    I won’t get into debating what he did in your comment section but I can completely understand the confusion and frustration of trying to find your opinion on the matter. I’ve gone back and forth thinking “well he didn’t force her” and then back to “but she did indicate multiple times she didn’t want to do anything in various ways.” It’s hard to put your idea of something under scrutiny when it has been a certain way for so long.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I have to say I put my head through the ringer like you did when I heard this story. I was upset, hurt, angry and just frustrated. Look I don’t really care about PC at this point, but I have made SO many sexual encounter mistakes in my life where, yes, maybe men took advantage of me. BUT I am an adult, and I consciously made those decisions, (no fuck that, I was even a minor making those mistakes), but NEVER did I hold any man responsible for my careless actions. This woman wanted a “fairy-tale” romance by going out with a celebrity and when it was obvious she was just being used for a hook-up she got even. I am a strong supporter of the #MeToo movement, but that is NOT the case here.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Who are any of us to judge really? I think for many of us none of us is truly innocent. At some point in our life, we might have unconsciously (or consciously, but not really admitting) reinforced, both collectively and individually, the so-called stereotypical behaviors. I think we have done enough finger pointing and own up to our small or big role in having cultivated certain mindsets that have resulted into this sorry mess of being human. ( I need tomatoes to make spaghetti sauce anyway.)

    Like

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