The other night I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turned, had weird dreams, watched Netflix, made tea, still couldn’t sleep, messed around online, eventually smoked a small joint.
And in the morning I did yoga. Cat pose, child’s pose and cobra pose. I’m now great at planking, especially good at warrior pose and downward dog is an all time favourite.
I’m following the Daily OM who offer online yoga tutorials. I’d signed up on that sleepless night and I can’t quite remember but think I found them on Facebook.
I don’t really know, maybe that little joint…
Anyway, it’s brilliant and I’m getting fit and feeling fabulous and I’m strong and also wearing magnificent yoga clothes.
Until I went on to PayPal and saw money had been deducted off my account.
WHAT THE FUCK. It had been deducted by Daily OM.
So much for peace and meditation. I had never even given them my PayPal details. It wasn’t a lot, but still.
I went wild.
I mailed them, I hissed at them, I called them dishonest, I trashed them publicly, I hissed and then I hissed some more.
They Ommmmmed right back at me.
They were cool and calm because they had done their yoga.
They were cool and calm because they are cool and calm.
And they were cool and calm because they had proof of me signing up.
I’d signed up on that sleepless Tuesday night, 1.20 am, while I was just a little high.
It slowly came back to me.
I had indeed given them my PayPal details. I had thought this was a brilliant idea. I had bought new yoga clothes.
AND I HAD NOT REMEMBERED ANY OF IT.
That is scary.
I stopped hissing. I apologised. I tried to explain myself. I felt terrible. I put on my yoga pants. I got back into warrior pose.
I signed up for another Daily OM yoga challenge.
And then I did some deep yogic thinking.
WHY YOGA? WHY DIDN’T I BUY SEX TOYS OR DRUGS OR FABULOUS SHOES?
It must have been a sign. A meaningful sign to put away my computer, put away my phone and get into the moment.
So that’s what I’m doing.
I’m rolling out my yoga mat, sucking in my core and am ready for my next challenge.
Thanks Daily OM. You’re fab.