Maybe they’ll never get it

There’s something I don’t get. We’ve just been through this huge #Metoo campaign and unless you live on Mars, you have to know about it.

And I want to believe that men are starting to take note. They’re finding their way and rethinking what is and what isn’t acceptable re women, boundaries, dating and sex.

They might also be a little confused but hey, they’ll get it soon.

Or maybe they won’t. Ever.

I met this guy online. He was average looking but had a nice bio and I thought he was funny, witty and above all, honest.

We spoke a little and he seemed like someone who MIGHT be nice. I hate the whole back and forth thing that you sometimes go through with online dating so I cut to the chase.

I suggested coffee.

Sure, he replied, not this week as I have a ton of work etc, but let’s chat next week.

Cool. I left it at that. We had a few more conversations and I suggested coffee again.

Sure, he replied again.

And then I asked him what his surname was. He avoided the question, masterfully. And didn’t ask for mine.

I picked up that something was odd and thought ‘oh goodbye.’

And then last night out of the blue he sent me a message, using my surname.

My real surname. Not my Violet Online name.

My name.

He had done a great stalking job and I don’t know how.

The thing is, he didn’t need to stalk me. He could’ve just asked and I would’ve told him. But this message made me feel vaguely uncomfortable. Actually, it made me very uncomfortable. And maybe he didn’t mean to be a stalker, maybe he was being playful, maybe he didn’t mean to be scary but I’m also tired of the ‘he didn’t mean to.’

Either way, we won’t have coffee.

And maybe I’m being a little over sensitive.

Except I don’t care enough, I am no longer making excuses for men.

They need to get with the programme.

And stop their bullshit.

The end.

25 thoughts on “Maybe they’ll never get it

  1. It’s funny cos I was just wondering where you were – maybe I miss you now I don’t post every day – and here you are! 🙂
    That is so creepy that he stalked you. I agree – give this one a w-i-d-e berth!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I believe the difference between ‘taking initiative’ and ‘being creepy’ is a thing called ‘mutual interest’. When you are in a relationship, it is wonderful when you are partner puts in an initiative to find out what you like and do things that you would love for you. Anything else before is just unwanted and unnerving.

    I always believe that men should change first before anything else, being a man like myself. I also would love it if girls completely shunned away men who try to be the ‘extra alpha’ type. And as Pvcann said, even movies and books seemed to allude to women being attracted to strong, invasive personalities, which emboldens idiots and also makes the real nice guys look like dorks.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yeah no. That’s not okay. Why are some guys so oblivious of how intimidating their actions are?! I once said something about sexual assault and a guy WHO HAD SEXUALLY ASSAULTED ME private messaged me to say “Hey, that sounds awful I’m sorry that happened to you, I’m always here if you want to talk about it.”

    My eyes about bugged out when I read it. Idiot.


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