A man and a ruler.

Today I was in a stationery shop, minding my own business and stocking up on notebooks and glitter pens. A man stood at the till, buying a couple of things, including a ruler. As he was leaving he said ‘thank you’ to the shop assistant, walked towards me, smacked me on the bottom with the ruler, and walked out.

I stood there, gobsmacked.

I never called him a fucking idiot or an arsehole, I didn’t grab the ruler and break it in half over his head and I didn’t punch him in the face.

Of course I should’ve done all of those things. But I didn’t.

I watched him walk away.

‘Why didn’t you wallop him?’ a friend asked afterwards.

‘I don’t know,’ I replied, ‘I just didn’t.’

But I do know. It happened quickly. I wasn’t thinking clearly. I was kind of shocked that someone would do that. And I guess I could’ve gone after him and yelled at him.

But I chose not to.

I didn’t want the confrontation and after all, it was just a smack with a ruler.

However, it brings me to all the people who say – ‘But why didn’t they speak out.‘ Meaning the many women that the pig and predator Harvey Weinstein abused and raped.

Of course they didn’t speak out. He intimidated, bullied, scared, humiliated and shamed them. He made them feel like it was their fault. He was, is, the worst kind of bully.

It’s the same as what happens in our schools. Abuse in South Africa is flipping terrible. Young girls and boys get abused all the time. All. The. Time. There’s a story of 84 children who’ve been molested at a school in Orlando East, Soweto. 84 children between the age of six and nine.

One man.

They didn’t speak out either. When they did, nobody believed them. Or they were ignored.

Bullies are terrifying, power is a terrible thing, fear is awful.

So, yes I should’ve walloped the stupid guy with the ruler. I wasn’t scared, hurt or victimised.

But I just couldn’t.

Go figure.

The romantic side of me hopes that young girls are starting to yell out. I hope that they are learning to say No and Stop and Go Fuck Yourself you Fucking Scumbag.

But I fear they are not.

Because power is power and men have it and until women themselves are in a position of equal power, not much will change. If anything, I fear a terrible backlash to the rise that there is in feminism and in women coming out in force and in women trying, as hard as they can, to say No More.

Anyway, all I wanted to say is Harvey Weinstein is scum. The abuser in Soweto is scum.

And also, no-one should ever be allowed to make us feel shame, but also to make us feel bad for not speaking out.

It’s easier said than done.


25 thoughts on “A man and a ruler.

  1. FUCK that arsehole! OMG, if I’d have been there, and seen that you were so shocked, and didn’t know him, I’d have run out and yelled after him in the street for ya. WHAT a dickhead!! Do NOT give yourself a hard time; culturally women are conditioned from when they are born to be ‘nice, good girls’… takes a while to counteract that, especially in a stressful, unexpected situation like what happened to you. How symbolic indeed of abuse of power; great post.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. n.b. i am also vaguely uncomfortable here about the pic I chose. I don’t like to encourage any violence actually, women are not by nature violent. I prefer to use words, WHICH I DIDN’T DO EITHER.


  2. I was telling my friend the other day, mostly out of immense anger, that if she were ever harassed by someone, just smile at them, get close to them and drive a stiletto through their balls. If they die, the world would not be any worse off, and if they live mutilated, hopefully they will repent forever because now the world would know what they were up to.

    Now, I know that is definitely not the only or even the right solution. But I hate people taking advantage of anybody else. This whole survival of the fittest, richest and all that crap is pointless. Survival of the respectful and lovable is all we need.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. And it is not the women who need to be taught how to feel empowered and come out and say things when they happen to them; should teach their sons how to behave. My parents certainly did that and I am hoping I have not failed them.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I never spoke out about a married sexual predator at work. I did not want the attention on me was the main reason. I could have caused him a lot of trouble but I just could not report him because also the particularly bad night in question away at an event in London I was chatting with him, sharing the same dance floor space etc albeit in a group. I thought it may have looked like I had encouraged him in some way, despite not being a flirty person.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. yip. sex addiction is pretty much about obsessive porn or obsessive consensual sex. sex addicts pay for porn, pay for sex workers, want sex with their partner all the time. they are not rapists, they have an addiction which is in itself problematic. Weinstein is addicted to power. Weinstein is addicted to shaming women. Weinstein is a rapist.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. I am sorry. That sucks. It sucks for you, for innocent children and for woman who are made to feel less than. Power corrupts in so many ways and in so many situations. Unfortunately, while men have the power society will continue to suffer.
    “Principles of justice are principles that rational, self-interested people would choose to govern the society in which they were going to live, provided that they did not know, at the time they chose the principles, exactly what their own place in society would be” – James Rachel’s forward to John Rawl’s

    Liked by 1 person

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