If you don’t know Mahabis Slippers then here is a bit of advice for you.
Do not try and find out.
Because I did, and I’m paying the price.
A friend of mine has a pair and I thought they were pretty groovy so I googled them.
Once. I googled them just once.
And now I cannot get rid of the fucking slippers.
They’re all over my timeline. They’re on my Facebook, my Twitter, they’ve made their way to my email and they’re on every single website I look at.
They’re the most aggressive digital slippers in the world and they’re also bloody ugly.
They’ve even taken over my sexting exchanges.
Violet, honey, remove your Mahabis.
Hey Violet, are you wearing your Mahabis.
Violet, drop those Mahabis immediately.
Oh oh oh, Mahabis, yes, yes, oh oh…
How does the internet know? I mean, I get that there are algorithms and all that but this is just me, one little person online being bombarded by one product that I am not going to buy. And that I googled, just once.
LEAVE ME ALONE MAHABIS.
Even though I did like you and you’re not really ugly and the grey ones with the pink soles are gorgeous and the idea of being able to change soles is so nice and those red ones are cool and they are a groovy slipper and how cool to just slip them on after sex, but still.
$130 for a pair of slippers. It’s a bit insane.
Take your Mahabis.
Get them off my timeline.
And just leave me to sext barefoot dammit.