I’ve been doing a bit of building, getting my cottage ready for either a tenant or for use as an AirBnB.
And of course while the builders are here I’ve found a million other things for them to do, including painting my beautiful wooden fireplace.
So over coffee this morning I interrupted a very important political discussion to tell my girlfriends the good news.
‘Hey, listen up girls,’ I said. ‘I’ve done this thing, I’m so happy, I painted my fireplace pink.
Note my girlfriends are not ordinary girlfriends. They are highly fashionable, super stylish, always on trend, sophisticated and elegant girlfriends.
They are not impulsive girlfriends.
They do research. They pour over magazines, chat to decorators, brainstorm, try colour samples, and then – they go crisp white, dark white, china white, old white, soft white or a very glamorous Marilyn Monroe white.
So when I said pink, they all looked up, raising their perfectly groomed eyebrows.
YES, I yelled out loud. PINK. PINK. PINK.
They grilled me.
‘What kind of pink? Pastel Pink? Dusty Pink? Rose Quartz Pink. Pussy pink?’
Pussy pink is apparently a thing.
‘I don’t know,’ I said. ‘Like a gorgeous pale kind of rosy ruby little bit dirty little bit sexy little bit sixties pretty hippie kind of pink.’
‘Like the t-shirt that guy’s wearing pink?’
‘Uh, no. That’s purple anyway.’
‘Like that woman’s dress over there?’
‘Uh no, also that is a terrible dress, too bright, too pink. I am just pink.’
‘Come on Violet, it has to have a name, a shade, a tone. Show us a pic of this pink.’
I couldn’t, I’d left my phone at home. Also, I was starting to get a little angry. I wanted more enthusiasm about my pink.
I could feel my face getting hotter and hotter.
And just like that, the colour burst out of me.
‘It’s like the colour of my cheeks, girls.’
They shrieked with delight and immediately began matching my cheeks with possible curtain colours.
And there you have it.
That is how paint colours get their names.
And now I better go paint the cottage so that I can make some money to pay for my new fireplace.
And everything else.
Which pink, I wonder, will tickle my fancy, today?