On having a dowry

‘Violet. Do you have any idea how much money you spend on breakfast every year?’

‘A small fortune,’ I replied, as I bit into my toast. ‘But I would probably spend more if I made breakfast at home, forgot to switch off the oven, burned the house down, shall I go on…’

He rolled his eyes.

‘Yes Violet, but you don’t have to cook. You can pour cereal into a bowl can’t you, add milk, pick up a spoon, shall I go on…’

Sweet Goddesses.

Where’s the fun in that?

If I was living in the 1800s then it could be a problem. I would be spending all my money on avocado and bacon and wouldn’t be able to afford a dowry.

No man would want me, poor and penniless, with an empty bottom drawer and rather high cholesterol.

But it is the year 2017.

And I definitely do not need a dowry. And there is medication for cholesterol.

Eating out is the way we do things.

And even when it’s not out, there are things like Uber Eats and Mr Delivery and friends who cook and almonds and pink delicious wine and chardonnay and prosecco, champagne and vodka and whisky and yeah, what even is the point of a kitchen.

So much so that I am thinking of knocking mine down and replacing it with more living space, sink in couches, a cosy fireplace, giant daybeds, lots of cushions and a pyjama cupboard instead of a grocery cupboard.

I love this idea!

I’ll even invite my grumpy friend over for take aways.

Who wants my fridge?

Brand new.

Never used.

Add it to your own dowry.

8 thoughts on “On having a dowry

    1. i’ve never had a freezer but can offer you crockery, cutlery, a slow cooker pressure thing, kettle, microwave and all the things that my grandmother gave me including an apple corer, garlic crusher and 23 starched aprons.


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