I’m a bit obsessed with the Netflix show ‘Santa Clarita Diet’ and have been talking to a long distance friend about it.
The wit, the dialogue, the brilliance of it all, the thighs, the giblets, the tastiness of dead men.
So on my walk this morning I messaged my friend and said ‘Oh my god I’m out walking and think I just walked past a finger.’
I do live in a bit of a dodgy neighbourhood, who knows, there could be cannibals.
His résponse was brilliant.
‘It probably fell out your underwear,’ he said.
‘It is what happens when you have sex with old men.’
I laughed a lot because it is mostly funny and also because I have fucked an old man and because I am never going to do that again.
Also because I swear after I walked past the finger I walked past some intestines.
Someone is eating people in my suburb.
The moral of this story is :-
Watch The Santa Clarita Diet.
Do not fuck old men.
And if you do, make sure nothing falls out of your knickers.