Casual sex

Yesterday was Casual Sex Day and while I didn’t sleep with every stranger that I saw, in fact didn’t sleep with anyone, I did a lot of thinking about casual sex.

First, I hate the word casual sex. No sex is casual. Even if it is a quickie against the door in a public bathroom, it is passionate, wild, messy, energetic, insane and none of those are words that sound remotely casual.

When you plan your liaison and he insists you wear your Dolce & Gabbana black dress and you insist he has champagne on ice, that is not casual.

And when you have sex then go out for dinner, then dancing, and then have sex again, that is not casual either.

That’s a date. And it means you enjoy each other’s company. A lot.

And if you’ve been doing this for a very long time and it is still exciting and wonderful and you love going down on him and he loves going down on you, plus you love the in between stuff, hey, THERE IS NOTHING CASUAL about it.

So I hate that the difficult guy calls what we have Casual Sex.

And I hate the rules that go with Casual Sex.

Check your emotions at the door.
Do not have expectations.
Know that you’re both in it for the sex.
Do not even think about asking for wardrobe space.
Never expect gifts.
Know death will come swiftly if you use his toothbrush.

And whatever you do, do not use the word relationship.

Except – I think this is a relationship. I think when the sex is so called casual but you’ve been having it for a long time, together with all the other stuff, it is a lot more than casual sex.

Casual fucking sex.

Sex cannot be casual unless you are a psychopath and able to fuck without feeling.

Oh dear.

I think I’m with a psychopath. Even though I am not technically with him.

35 thoughts on “Casual sex

  1. I didn’t know it was casual sex day, and I didn’t even celebrate!

    Seriously though, it’s true that sexuality is powerful and even if it’s not part of a committed relationship or whatever the word “casual” still doesn’t do it justice…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. When I got out of my abusive relationship I kind of went a little loosey goosey. It was very hard though with the first one. He would call me only when he wanted to see me but I kinda had a thing for him so his rejection of feelings hurt bad!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I think the problem is the labelling. As you said, the phrase carries rules with it. Limitations. We need a new blanket term for sex when a relationship hasn’t been explicitly established. Something that allows freedom of emotions.


  4. I think the problem is the labelling. As you said, the phrase carries rules with it. Limitations.
    We need a new blanket term for sex when a relationship hasn’t been explicitly stated. Something that allows for freedom of emotion, rather than limiting.


  5. Girl. That is definitely a relationship! None of that sounds anything like what I imagine casual sex to be!

    Casual sex is when you’re out, and the bartender is making eyes at you, and suddenly he’s right there and he’s taken your hand and he’s leading you down a corridor and into a staff room where he lifts you onto the counter and fucks your brains out. And then you hope down and leave. Not that that’s ever happened to me. But, you know, that’s casual sex. No names, no affection; just pure lust.

    What you’ve got going on sounds like a LOT more than that. Casual sex people don’t even know you own a black dress, never mind request it!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. No expectations just a fun event. Overtime it can and will develop into something else. Most likely a friendship develops next, then you start doing other activities other than sex. Remember not to get caught up or led into a one sided relationship where as he gets all the benefits.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. This is my first comment to a blog yay…anyways Yea casual sex can be tricky….women always get more emotional…but sometimes guys do to….we just hide it….especially if that thing is good lol but maybe it’s just me…I’ve been told that I show too much of myself in those situations and that I lead people on although I remind them that this is just sex


  8. I didn’t know this term.We r so hypocrite,term was invented to escape from guilty (esp man..They feel it convenient).If our mind n neurones involve in some stuff then bonding automatically created… I loved the last part that’s our true definition


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