There is something about the internet that allows people to believe they can write anything. Comment on anything.
Which they can. It’s easy to hide behind a screen and spew hatred and prejudice without repercussion.
A reader recently told me my sex writing had become boring.
You’re always ranting Violet. You go off the topic instead of writing about sex.
That is a fair enough comment.
I replied with an Oops sorry, and sent him a link to another more exciting sex writer.
He swore at me, then blocked me.
Another reader told me I bring women’s issues into everything I write about. That if I am talking about my orgasms I bring feminism into them.
Stick to your orgasms, Violet. You screech feminism at every opportunity. We don’t care about feminism, only your vagina.
I offered to send him a picture of my vagina. That seemed to calm him down. Until I didn’t send the picture, and then guess what?
He blocked me too.
There was the gentleman who stalked me for weeks, totally outraged when he read that I masturbated. He typed furiously on almost every single blog:-
Women should never masturbate Violet, it’s a sin, just wrong, how dare you?
When I patiently explained that almost all women do, and if they don’t they don’t know what they’re missing – boom bang BLOCK.
I did not block these men. They blocked me.
I repeat, they blocked me.
And I am more outraged about being blocked than I am about being spoken to rudely.
It is a little bit like our country. Right now so many of us South Africans are scared to use our voices. We are too young, too old, too DA, too white, too black, not black enough, too ANC, too not ANC, too gay, too Jewish, too Muslim, too much and too divided.
And too intimidated.
In the same way I give advice about opening our legs, I am going to give advice about opening our mouths, our ears and our minds.
And do not be scared of words. Or of using them. Wisely.
We need to find a platform where we can come together to debate, rather than fight.
We need to find new ways to communicate.
We need to sort out our fucking problems.
And in case you think I am off brand, we need to find new ways to love. To have great sex, great wine, brilliant friendships, lots of food, champagne, peace and oysters.
Lots and lots of free delicious love.