Not just any chocolate. No sisters, I’m talking the really good artisanal chocolate that’s made from real cocoa beans with love and passion, by hand, in France kind of chocolate; the chocolate that comes (ooh!) in a manfist-sized lump that you have to carve a small piece off with a knife sort of chocolate – is that when you put a piece on your tongue, and you wait patiently until the warmth of your mouth does its work and it melts and then explodes and leaves you going oh god-god and feels a little bit like champagne and a lot more like sex, and I’m having it for breakfast, and wondering why anyone ever eats muesli.
I’m also thinking a line of hand made chocolate vibrators could change the way we live.
Oh my god, good morning.