I’m good at a lot of things but possibly not very good at business. I write for a beauty Spa in exchange for anti ageing treatments. I write for a lingerie shop in exchange for lingerie. I travel blog for travel and I sex blog as Violet for fun and love but mostly just for fun.

But I don’t do any of that for money and I really need to earn. This morning I sat with a friend, over very expensive coffee and croissants, moaning about my financial situation.

There are tons of jobs going on Freelancer, Violet.  A lot in your field. Try.  It’s worth a shot.’

I’m not sure what my field is, but I googled Freelancer and signed up immediately.

Profile:  Writer. Quick. Creative. Funny. Imaginative. Perfect grammar.

Writing skills:  Erotica. Sex. Soft Porn.

Then I added a few more, suddenly anxious in case my dad found me on Freelancer.

Travel.  Advertising. PR.

Somewhere along the line I ticked Italian too.

A mistake, a mistake!

I do not speak Italian.

My first job offer came in. I got so excited and hey, it wasn’t in English but still it seemed to be well paid and of course I had to take it.

I turned to google translate. An erotic story set in a bank. Seven hundred words.

Easy, I could do this in my sleep.

I did it. Wrote it. Translated it. Sent it in.

Oh mio Dio ti prego prendere ora , alzare la gonna , duro , in me, più forte più forte , spinta, oh Dio , sì , così, di più, di più, cazzo me , oh Gesù venire venire cazzo me girare intorno al mio culo sì, come che , oh sì sì più di più , sei così grande , duro , il tuo spessore difficile Oh cazzo cazzo cazzo.

I got quite turned on just reading it.

They replied quickly.

In broken English.

‘Violet, it’s Marcello.  Your writing is fabulous, amiamo,  bellisima, but we are looking for content for a banking website.’

Oops. I’d got it a little wrong.

‘Sorry about that,’ I typed.  ‘So sorry.’

But then I added:-

‘Shall I try again?’

‘Why not,’ said Marcello. ‘We like your style.’


I think I’m going to like Freelancer.


English or Italian?



18 thoughts on “Language

  1. I heard yesterday of a British man earning $3million a year streaming video games. Today’s technology applied across the social landscape of humanity, yields me to believe a person with ambition, communication skills, imagination, and determination can create enough stir to make a decent living. Emerging banking with erotica maybe just the angle to approach this with? 😉


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