So it’s like mercury is retrograding over here because apart from all my internet woes I got in the shower this morning and snap crackle boom, nearly got electrocuted. Well, kind of. I got a huge shock from the taps, not huge enough to kill me but huge enough for me to think oh my god what is going on and leap out the shower very quickly.

With shampoo and delicious smelling vanilla soap all over my body.

It happened to me once in Lima, many years ago, and that was kind of hairy, but I digress.

I called my emergency electrician.

I can only come tomorrow Ms Violet.  But it sounds dangerous, don’t switch on any taps and stay well away from the water.

What to do? My neighbours seemed to be away, or perhaps dead in their own showers. Either way, they couldn’t help me.

I needed to shower.

I had no choice but to go to the gym.

I hate the gym.

But you know there’s a silver line behind every cloud!

I skipped the gym part and headed straight to the sauna. Smelling a bit like a vanilla pod.

Let me tell you, men in saunas like the smell of vanilla.

And there were a lot of men in the sauna.

All of them, experts on electricity. All of them offering me advice. All of them offering me their showers.

None of them offering to fix it for me quickly which is kind of expected because MEN, but I did come home with four new contacts, a prospective date, and a very clean shiny and detoxed body.

Only problem is, a few hours is a long time to sit in a sauna and I’m home now and very bloody dehydrated and I can’t yet switch on my taps.

I may have to go back to the gym.

Where’s my shampoo?

N.B. If I do get electrocuted, blame one of these guys.