Maybe I was a little defensive

It’s a beautiful Sunday afternoon, I’ve been playing Joni Mitchell, baking and chatting to my neighbour across the garden wall.

We spoke about the sunshine, recipes and the delicious smell of freshly baked cake wafting from my kitchen.

Gonna taste fantastic, he said.

Yip, I said proudly, I do make a fine chocolate cake.

And then he fucked it all up.

How come you’re still single?

What. Excuse me?

I found myself getting all defensive, like, I quite like being single and fuck you for even asking and goddammit, I said, you cannot ask questions like that. You cannot.

I went to check my cake.

When I came back he was still leaning over the wall.

It’s just, I haven’t seen you in a long term relationship. Men have come, men have gone, I think there was a woman, but – nothing permanent. What’s that about? Are you difficult?  Do you get lonely?

Jesus. Did this guy not know when to stop.

Next he would be telling me I looked tired and had gained weight.

There are some things you just don’t say to people.


Maybe I am difficult, I said. Maybe it’s also none of your fucking business.

I don’t know why I was so cross. I do like being single but dammit I also want to fall in love.

And I’m not lonely now, but I am a bit scared of being lonely when I’m older.

So yeah, he struck a chord.

Except – It is a choice. A for now choice.

I would never think of questioning his choices.  He was rude and presumptuous and then he kept sending me messages, feeling bad, saying sorry, but also asking for some cake.

No way. I replied, no fucking way. 

There are some things you just steer clear of. Failed relationships, for one.

I’m eating the cake alone.

All alone.

And don’t you dare ask me if I’ve gained a little weight.


28 thoughts on “Maybe I was a little defensive

  1. What dipshit things for the guy to ask. “Are you difficult?” Seriously? I’m glad he apologized later, but it’s incredible that he also asked for cake. Another dipshit move.


  2. “Let them eat cake”

    My sister has never been married, and she’s generally mostly somewhat normal? The fact of the matter is…a persons personal circumstances are theirs to decide, confront, accept, tolerate, or justify based upon how they feel about the life they lead!

    Fuck a bunch of nosey ass neighbors!

    “They aren’t paying to watch”


    Liked by 1 person

  3. When I was single after my divorce I got those questions a lot. I spent 15 years dating and discovering who I was as a person. I really enjoyed being single. My motto was that for every bent pot there is a bent lid. I found my bent lid and we just fit each other despite our differences. In your time on your terms 💋

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Violet, admit it, you’re difficult, right? I mean, why the hell else wouldn’t you be in a relationship? LOL

    I’m happy on my own. I hate relationships. Today I’m in a “I want to be free and flirt with everyone on the planet” sort of mood. Relationships suck.

    I can’t bake though. Maybe I should be in a relationship with someone who can.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I totally understand him. For the life of him he couldn’t understand why a hot, attractive, smart, funny, good baking woman was alone. Such a great put together package so why….it just doesn’t make sense like some of those A+4+Y=d^ math problems…you recognize all the numbers and symbols but somehow it doesnt add up!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I would but you drink crappy drinks and like crappy flavors of ice cream. There is just no future with someone like that!


  6. Single. Married. Attached via some weird looking contraption. None of it matters really. No one should be questioning your choices in life. I mean, come on. It’s not like you exist merely for their approval. Some people. Yeesh. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Who is this bloke? What cake does is he actually fishing for over the garden wall and why does he know so intimately who goes in and out? How?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s