This morning I dressed up, put on lipstick, sprayed perfume, then sat back in my chair, feet on the desk, waiting for the phone to ring.
It rang.
I let it ring twice, not wanting to appear too eager, then said…
Hiya, Violet speaking.
In reply I heard a muffled…
And now we’d like to welcome Violet Online to the show, famous sex blogger and expert on Internet Dating. Hi Violet, so nice to have you with us this morning.
I got the giggles. Mostly because at the moment I am the sex blogger who is famous for not having sex and I haven’t been on an online dating site for ages.
But I took a deep breath, turned into Violet and said:-
Hi Viv, nice to be here, thanks for having me.
I giggled some more.
There was a kind of awkward silence, then the first question.
In your opinion Violet, what is that makes men and women so different?
I wasn’t sure I’d heard the question properly and instead of asking the presenter to repeat it, I just launched headfirst into an answer.
Well you know, women like to talk, communicate, reach out, get intense, plan babies, discuss the future, cuddle, make love, spoon, drink tea and then organise a wedding.
I think I heard snoring.
And men, I said, just want to fuck.
The presenter woke up.
Quickly.
This was radio. I’d used the word fuck.
It’s okay to talk about anything else on South African radio. Murder, killing, rape. That’s all good.
Fucking, not so much.
But suddenly we had attention. Viv asked a few more questions, none of which I could hear. But I gave my opinion on online dating and on Tinder (don’t do either), and I suggested meeting men at coffee shops, grocery stores and behind the scenes at radio stations.
It was an apparently successful interview.
So much so that for the next one I’ve been invited in to the studio.
No more telephonic interviews for me babe!
I’m going to choose a different dress for the next interview.
I’ll wear a new perfume and maybe a new lipstick.
And I’m definitely going to have sex beforehand.
I need to. I need to have something else to talk about.
Help. Help.
Anyone???
The show is every Friday, Going Somewhere with Viv, 0830-0900, edenvaleradio.org
Well am glad it went well.
And who would argue against having more sex?
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at the moment, definitely not me!
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Hope that turns around for you, sooner rather than later
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Sounds like a fun assignment 😉
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I like that. I am going to start calling the need for sex an assignment.
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Well, maybe if you look at it like a job…
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With great job satisfaction, if you put the effort in 😀
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Right, and don’t get me started on the benefit program 😉
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The benefits package can be amazing.
Makes me think I should apply for a similar position myself
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Ooh, the package…
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you two have your own sex blog going on here and I am laughing…
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I’ve heard “oooh the package” before.
Always a welcome response
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Thanks, violet, for letting us use your space!
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any time, of course!
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Thank, doll!
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That is wonderful. So proud of you I love doing radio but reading my stories for it was a killer requiring 10 takes once. UGH.
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I’ve never read my stuff on radio, maybe it’s time for a podcast!
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I’d listen, podcasts from blogs I read would be two great tastes, tasting great together
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Raises hand and offers myself for scientific methodical research 😉 if only!
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you – the kindest most generous person I know!!!
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Lol 😛
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Congratulations! I do my best sex-writing when I’m not having sex…crazy, huh?! In honor of my favorite band: Shine On You Crazy Diamond! XO DWD
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totally crazy and why are you not having sex???
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I swear, it’s either feast or famine! Aye, carumbah! DWD
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exfuckingzactly
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Glad you’re next move is in the studio…you’ll have loads of fun! I’ll check out the link later today.
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thanks! I shall record every single little moment…
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Violet, your blog has come a long way since that day we had coffee last year. Congrats on the in studio interview – I haven’t yet cracked one of those and I feel a teensy bit jealous.
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Remember that day. You were so amazing and helpful and I think we need another coffee to celebrate both of us!
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Amen, sister.
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That is awesome. Congratulations.
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Yay, Violet, yay. I am so excited for you.
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we’ll do it again just before Violet Rebooted, Love Me Tinder is on!
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I enjoyed the post and all the banter as well. Go girl, and here’s to job satisfaction 😉
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You can talk about naming your dildos perhaps. Dildough was a fat one and then when it expired, you moved on to Dildoug, who was leaner but meaner. The third one though was dignified and reliable Dildouglas, and still running.
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I think you, Madam, should be interviewed!
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Haha
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Now you can say you’re infamous!
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🙂
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