Back to the Body

So what’d you guys do today?

I was kind of making conversation with the Americans who are here in South Africa to run a Back to the Body Sensual Retreat.  I expected them to say they did a bit of sightseeing, visited Soweto, maybe a gallery, a museum or two. Instead, they answered:-

Oh we bought gloves, a vibrator, and coconut oil, lots and lots of coconut oil.

I spat out my soup.

As I was choking Pamela, Neal and Ron chewed on their artichokes and carried on like this was a very normal shopping list.

We needed at least two boxes of gloves; there are eight women, seven days, do the math…

Oh! Oh, I spluttered.

Cool, um, where did you like find the gloves, and…

GLOVES! Really. What do you do with the gloves? I mean, I know, but bejesus, the women are open to this?

I was blushing like crazy.

I was learning about the week long workshop run by sex goddess and educator Pamela Madsen, together with somatic sex educators Ron Stewart and Neal Wecker.  Eight women are coming out from the USA to attend the retreat, to get in touch with, well, with themselves I suppose.

And I should be open to these things. I’m a sex blogger. I know all about sex.  I think. But –


Neal explained how the retreats work, what they do and what it means. Days are spent practicing breathwork, conscious movement, exploration of the self (mind and body) erotic massage, ritual and yogic orgasm. It’s all about self love, sexuality and finding your own eroticism.

Also about healing.  And learning to love your body, flaws and all.

Hmm.  I am not sure I can ever learn to love my cellulite.

During the retreat the educators stay fully clothed  (although I think Pamela flashes at any opportunity, and so she should…) and the women can of course choose to do what they want. If they want to get ‘on the table’ and have an erotic massage, they can.  There is no pressure.

I blushed and fanned myself while these sex educators / life coaches casually discussed sex, masturbation and vaginas. I kept spluttering while they kept chewing and swallowing.

Clearly these three are completely in touch with themselves.

The retreats are all about ‘giving’.  The educators give; the women receive. It’s totally professional but still, I went bright red  when Neal said :-

Hey Violet. What about doing a session or two? I’m here for a month. I think you’d learn a lot from the bodywork.

I choked again.

Not because I’m a prude. I’m far from one.

But I don’t know if I want to look at my vagina in a mirror. I don’t know if I want other women looking at my vagina. I don’t know how comfortable I would be with a man, wearing gloves, looking at my vagina, teaching me things about my body that I don’t apparently know.

And I don’t know how good I would be at receiving only.

I know that I should try.  I clearly do have a lot to learn about my own sexuality.

But Neal is gorgeous.

And I am just not sure I could keep my hands off him!

back to the body

Neal.  Pamela.  Ron

Read about Pamela Madsen and her retreats below. She really is a woman living life to the full. And helping others to do the same.

7 thoughts on “Back to the Body

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