This morning I thought I would do a quick google search on how to set fire to a couch. I didn’t learn anything I hadn’t been taught by you guys (vodka, petrol, hire an arsonist) but man, I did pick up a whole bunch of other stuff.
I learned that the colour pink represents compassion, Revenge is a fabulous television series (I know because I watched three episodes), the Huffington Post gives great advice on the right kind of man to date and somehow I bought two dresses, a pair of shoes and a gorgeous leather bag from https://www.net-a-porter.com.
I watched YouTube clips on dogs and cats, laughed out loud at all the puppies, cried at the cat that got lost in Greece, donated money to a GoFundMe thing, found the perfect red lipstick with a nail polish to match and I very nearly booked an air ticket to India.
In fact, that tab is still open and before the end of day I may well have flights booked to Mumbai!
I have been sucked into an internet rabbit hole, a delicious vortex of stuff, and it is too fantastic.
I forgot about the German and his couch and mostly I laughed and I did not do any work and I read all of your blogs and I didn’t even think about revenge.
Also, I’m learning a ton of stuff. Apart from the toxic flames that come from burned furniture, I learned about new books, great women, unusual sex positions, how to make a damn good blueberry tart, the size of Donald Trump’s penis, music, food, anything and everything you can find on the internet.
And if ever you guys are contestants on Who Want to Be a Millionaire, I really could be your ‘phone a friend’.
In fact, I want to be your phone a friend. Because you readers are fabulous!
And I am so grateful for all of you.
Thanks.
That’s all. And now – well – see you soon – I have air tickets to book and maybe still matches to purchase.
You never know. I’d like to keep the German guessing…
I think you need to visit the USA instead
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you could meet me on a houseboat in Srinagar.
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We like you violet, you’re infectious! In the best possible way of course 😉
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You, mister, even have me using emoji. 🙂
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;P you know you love those cute little winks.
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pfft.
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😉 XD
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Keep the matches on stand-by, but the best revenge is being happy.
Have really enjoyed this post and always want to read the next
nice pic btw
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*puts away can of petrol*. thank you.
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I love you, Violet. In a totally non sexual way. Mostly non sexual.
Anyway, your posts are always fun to read! Go to India! Have fun! Post something about it! Use more exclamation marks!
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apparently I use too many exclamation marks!!!!!!!!
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but fuck that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Pfft, who told you that? The exclamation mark police????????????????????????
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Enjoyed your post! The best revenge is to live on and be happy. Book your flight!
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I could go on a spiritual journey to Dharamsala…(or just shop and eat great food)
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You my lady are delicious if ever I can call a human that. You always make me smile 🙂
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ah thank you, deliciousness right back at ya.
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🙂
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Shop, laugh and love. Being happy is certainly the best revenge! I’d say come to Ireland but the weather’s crap at the moment, well it’s not too bad, sun is shining but it’s so cold. Go somewhere warm 😀
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Haven’t been to Ireland yet, keep meaning too.
Somewhere warm first is best tho
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We do get some really hot days but it’s hit and miss. November can be as warm as August 🙂
And you tend to forget that after a solid week of cold and rain (August again)
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we wouldn’t have to go outside – cosy couches, fireplaces, ROPES…
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Go to Mumbai and share your adventures!
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well okay then…
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Violets are Blue, said an old kids rhyme. Jeez no! Violets are Amazing! You are awesome. Sending you a truck load of love and good wishes.
A german took what could have been mine too…I love germans, I hate german. 🙂
Remember you are special and I told you so!
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thank ya darling! Here’s to many stories and other couches, occasional fires, Germans, no German, love…
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Thank you Violet 🙂
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Loved that. You are cool, Violet!
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West Virginia has developed a reputation of sorts in the US for burning couches and the likes after a big victory for their college sports teams…?!?!
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Like the Brazilians who throw their television sets out the windows when they lose.
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Exactly!
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