This morning I thought I would do a quick google search on how to set fire to a couch. I didn’t learn anything I hadn’t been taught by you guys (vodka, petrol, hire an arsonist) but man, I did pick up a whole bunch of other stuff.
I learned that the colour pink represents compassion, Revenge is a fabulous television series (I know because I watched three episodes), the Huffington Post gives great advice on the right kind of man to date and somehow I bought two dresses, a pair of shoes and a gorgeous leather bag from https://www.net-a-porter.com.
I watched YouTube clips on dogs and cats, laughed out loud at all the puppies, cried at the cat that got lost in Greece, donated money to a GoFundMe thing, found the perfect red lipstick with a nail polish to match and I very nearly booked an air ticket to India.
In fact, that tab is still open and before the end of day I may well have flights booked to Mumbai!
I have been sucked into an internet rabbit hole, a delicious vortex of stuff, and it is too fantastic.
I forgot about the German and his couch and mostly I laughed and I did not do any work and I read all of your blogs and I didn’t even think about revenge.
Also, I’m learning a ton of stuff. Apart from the toxic flames that come from burned furniture, I learned about new books, great women, unusual sex positions, how to make a damn good blueberry tart, the size of Donald Trump’s penis, music, food, anything and everything you can find on the internet.
And if ever you guys are contestants on Who Want to Be a Millionaire, I really could be your ‘phone a friend’.
In fact, I want to be your phone a friend. Because you readers are fabulous!
And I am so grateful for all of you.
That’s all. And now – well – see you soon – I have air tickets to book and maybe still matches to purchase.
You never know. I’d like to keep the German guessing…