I happened to be in Davos the other day, trying to check in to a hotel, my snow skis weighing heavily on my shoulders.
There’s no space Violet. Surely you know it’s the World Economic Forum. All the heads of state are here, movie stars, celebrities, royalty too.
I looked around and indeed, they were. Benjamin Netanyahu brushed past in his thirteen thousand dollar Armani suit. DiCaprio was sitting in a corner sharing a bottle of French champagne with Justin Trudeau. Prince Charles was out there in the garden talking to some Swiss plants.
Maybe you can find me a room next door to Leonardo, I asked?
The concierge shook his head. No.
No. Why not? Oh, he’s taken over the whole floor. Okay, how about next to David Cameron. A private villa. I see. Dammit. Fine, I’ll just share a suite with Justin, shall I. He’s very sexy.
Imagine really being at Davos.
Imagine really sleeping with Trudeau. He has to be the hottest head of state right now.
And imagine chatting to David Cameron, who is not hot at all, but does know about worldwide poverty.
Or with Angela Merkel about the refugee crisis. Except Angela chose not to go to Davos, perhaps because she knows. She knows what we know. It is a little bit of a waste of time.
I kind of see Davos in the same way I see my monthly Resident Association Meetings. We’ve been talking about the same thing for years now and nothing much ever changes. Drone drone drone and goddam we love the sound of our own voices and it all goes on forever and forever and hardly anything is ever accomplished.
Couldn’t Davos happen on Facebook? Via a giant Whatsapp group? Maybe on our Twitter feed?
It would save a ton of money doing the whole thing that way. And we could all join in.
Look, there wouldn’t be any private jets and not too many bodyguards. There would be no trips up the ski slopes, exquisite Chanel ski suits, limousines or even the odd affair.
But there would be a whole lot of extra money that could possibly feed the poor. Maybe even a few small countries.
I know these guys (yip, mainly guys, no surprise here) are discussing the world economy as well as smaller less important topics like climate change and the refugee crisis But they’re doing it really comfortably with fabulous snacks and expensive whisky while polar bears are still endangered and refugees are still drowning.
Not much is changing.
The people at Davos are still very wealthy and the people who are not at Davos are still not.
I wish there was space at a hotel.
Mostly so I could seduce Prime Minister Trudeau.
But also just to have my little say.