If any of you ever have sex with me I can tell you that I am, or will be, the most spectacular lover.
But only in certain positions.
Why is that, you may ask?
Well, it’s because of my upper body strength.
I’ll be a pro at doggy style.
A star at standing up.
Brilliant at the bridge position. (google this one)
Amazing at anal.
And fabulous at the arch.
Why do I have such astonishing strength, you may wonder?
Well. Because for the last twenty four-hours I have been mopping, squeezing, mopping, draining, mopping, drying, mopping, squeezing and mopping after the most unbelievable Johannesburg thunderstorms and flood.
My upper arms are killing me.
But my muscles are straining against my t-shirt. So are my breasts. I feel energetic and even a little bit horny because exercise can do that to you.
So, dear reader. Take off your clothes. Lie back. Get ready for me.
I’m going to be on top. And I can’t wait.
But hang on a sec.
I just have to fetch a few more sandbags out the car.
It’s started raining again.