For the last few days, ever since seeing ostrich on their way to an abattoir, I have been thinking of becoming a vegetarian.
And oddly, over the last few days, I have also been thinking about sex. That’s because I’ve been doing an online sex writing course and have been dreaming, eating, fantasising about, and now wanting, sex.
And I am not sure how sex and vegetarianism go together, except for the one man in my life who was both sexy and a non-meat eater.
We used to have this ritual. Every time after we’d had sex I would take a can of cannellini beans from his kitchen. He was on a health kick and there were these lovely Italian beans everywhere.
It was a joke and we would always talk about how many cans of beans I had and how big the pile could possibly get.
Our relationship ended because he was very bloody difficult and apparently so was I. Also, we wanted different things. I wanted meat, he wanted beans. I wanted traditional, he wanted anal. I wanted love, he did not.
We’ve remained friends, in that kinda tricky way.
But now I am thinking of cannellini beans and the million different vegetarian things you can make with them.
Which means I have to be thinking about him.
And I know how dangerous it will be for me to call him.
But in the interests of my new non-meat eating habits, I think I have to.