I don’t hang out in bars all that often on my own, so when I walked solo into Buzz Nine last night I felt a little self-conscious.
That changed the minute I met Sjarmante Diamante. She fluttered her false eyelashes at me, pushed her perfect boobs in my face and purred – ‘Come, darling, come and join our table.’
And before I knew it I was sitting with the Burlesque dancers – Miss Oh, Salacious Sally, Foxy Bonnet and Chat Chat la Crème. All very sexy with feather boas, corsets, silk stockings, a lot of glitter and very soft sensual flesh.
I was a little overdressed in my elegant black shift and Manolo Blahnik’s, and also a little upset that I was the only one not wearing nipple caps. But the girls were gorgeous and they let me try on their furs, stoles and nurse’s outfits and tweak their tassels just a little!
The show began. This was The Tournament of Tease, a monthly dance / theatre review, showcasing South African burlesque dancers. It’s organised by Miss Oh and Mechant & Gentil Lingerie, and totally delicious.
Burlesque is all about the art of tease – it’s sort of like stripping but with taste – and without the tart. It’s the art of pulling off stockings that you may or may not be wearing while being very cheeky, very sexy and very provocative.
Actually, that is not true! It’s all about stripping but in such a fun way. And it’s arty and creative and well, pretty damn erotic.
The women were all beautiful. Of course it took me a while to work out that they weren’t all women and Sjarmante Diamante is actually a drag queen but hey, we’ve become good friends now so it doesn’t really matter.
I loved it. Buzz Nine was the perfect venue – small and intimate but also raucous and fun. We, the audience, laughed and whistled and went oh my gosh and laughed some more and gasped and had a really wonderful time.
I’ve signed up for a Burlesque class and I’m going back to Buzz Nine next month for the Tournament of Tease Finale.
You should go too. And buy some nipple caps. Just in case you get called up on stage.
Buzz Nine, Melville – 7th Street, Johannesburg. Tel -011 – 482 5728
Miss Oh – firstname.lastname@example.org