Sex, violence, no rock and roll.

So this is what I learned from Sexpo. That I am conservative, old-fashioned and even a little bit prudish.

Yip. I am a prude.

I do not like dog masks, leather hoods or harnesses. I hate blow-up dolls and I am shocked by the blow-up asses that men can choose in either a ‘black skin’ or a ‘white skin’. Not in a politically correct black or white way but in a degrading, dehumanising let’s just fuck women up the arse way.

I found myself not only uncomfortable looking at the stuff but, as a woman, completely bloody insulted.

I am upset by the excess of strap-ons, whips, chains, ropes and complimentary floggings!

Mostly, I am overwhelmed by how seemingly violent everything was.

And if you’ve been following my blog, you will know that I am usually open to anything and it takes quite a lot to shock or offend me.

This is not a judgement on people who choose that world. A lot of my readers do and I absolutely respect their choices. (except for the dog mask, jeez guys, come on!!)

But it is a judgement on the expo itself for selling space to stands that focus so much on the kink and fetish world and not on the other world. The more gentle world. The world that is lovely and sweet and romantic and well, just sexy.

That was the problem.

Sexpo was not sexy.

It was not only disappointing but actually, downright distasteful.

And while there were the stands with the toys and the oils and creams it was all displayed in a vulgar and undesirable way.

I’m meant to be going back tonight as a voyeur at a swingers club.  Initially, I thought I’d do it.

Instead, I’m at home writing about the ‘Free The Nipple’ campaign.

And I am writing, sitting at the dining room table, with my shirt off.

See, I’m not such a prude.

But that, dear Sexpos, is about as far as I go.

Sorry SexpoSA.  I tried to like you.  I really did.

28 thoughts on “Sex, violence, no rock and roll.

      1. I went to a Fetish Ball once…ONCE.
        My ex was into being cuckolded and whipped and tied up and bound and gagged. I hated it. I never want to inflict pain on someone I care for. Teasing pain is one thing. Genuine pain to me means something is really wrong.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. I hear you and while I agree with you I don’t want to judge why people get off on the violent stuff. I am just pissed off that they didn’t focus as well on sexy sex, on good sex, on sexual health, on loving sex, on the deliciousness of sex…

        Liked by 2 people

  1. It is because we are suppose to be past the point where men drag women by their hair off to their caves to have sex that is only meaningful for them. I think here you are talking about the cruelty of sex, the real cruelty, not just people enjoying themselves in a healthy loving way. Yes, you can have wonderful and healthy S&M but when it is constant degrading then it no longer is the sex but finding more ways to degrade and therein lies the problem.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think I would have passed out from annoyance and shock! I personally find the objectifying of females very upsetting and the thought of violence added to the equation is very sickening. Sexual violence is unhealthy and a big turn off. I love romance.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I went to as sexpo once, shortly after separating from my wife of 20 years. All I can remember of that experience, was how degrading the amazing act of sex had become. For both sexes. WTF was prickaso.???? Really???? Seriously???? Can a man get so bored with how the Good lord designed his manhood that he has to stoop to using it as a paint brush???? All I remember is walking away thinking that the sexpo was a concentration of just how badly the human animal has stooped to pervert and canabalise one of the greatest gifts any animal has been given. I wondered if any of the traders had ever heard of the word LOVE. A very important, (even if it is only one percent of the whole sex experience), word ????? And sure as hell is hot, they hadn’t ever heard of the word “respect”. Suffice to say, I’ve never had any desire to go back!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Having never taken the time to attend a “Sexpo” I don’t quite relate to being immersed into the darker side of the human sexual condition, yet I’ve often wondered if this entire idea of what’s “normal” regarding expression of such, was fully identified? I can relate to what works for me, but seldom is that a topic of conversation outside the confines of the experience itself. In other words, who decides a dog mask is helpful, and how does one ever realize that’s what’s missing from their experience? In measuring the dramatic transformation of how society views and accepts sexuality over my lifetime, it’s amazing in some ways, while appalling in others. Obviously the variety of preference is extremely diverse?


  5. I am amazed at how easily the culture can be influenced. What you described sounds like a “Fifty-Shades” Sexpo! I can see the majority of our culture being influenced by the media but thank God there are still some free thinkers out there! Those of us who still find real sex exciting, pleasurable, and intoxicating, don’t need a trashy, poorly-written, piece of wasted tree to enjoy what is ultimately the most pleasurable experience as a human; after all, God gave us instincts for a reason!


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