I know that I’m a little late to the Ashley Madison dating site scandal but I’ve been somewhat consumed by my own dating site scandal.
I subscribed to The Perfect Partner about a year ago. It didn’t go very well, mainly because I don’t think there is a perfect partner out there, also because I kept losing my perfect password.
Anyway. After one too many shirtless pics, LookingForFun69 messages and a little sexual harrasment from NaughtyBoy, I decided it was time to unsubscribe.
You try unsubscribe from a dating site. It’s seriously near damn impossible, and I give up every single time. It goes like this.
- Find the teeny writing in the bottom left-hand corner that says Cancel Subscription. It will be well hidden by a young couple holding hands on the beach.
- Click on the link where you spend the next ten minutes looking for another link. More happy people will appear.
- Are you sure you want to unsubscribe? Y/N.
- Why do you want to unsubscribe? None of your business.
- Can you tell us anything else? No.
- Right, soon you’ll be alone forever.
At which point I give up and continue getting messages from men looking for adventure and anal sex.
I realise I have more chance of meeting a man in the two-minute noodle section at the grocery store than online.
Which brings me back to Ashley Madison.
There was outrage that the site encouraged adultery. But at least it was an honest cheating site with clear instructions. And there was outrage that subscribers had to pay to delete their profiles. Personally, I would pay hundreds of thousands right now to get away from the Perfect Fucking Partner.
Maybe I’m going to start my own dating site. Go ahead readers, please subscribe. It’s going to at least be honest.