Beware the man who uses Emoji.

I just got a message from a man who seems completely delicious and I can already feel the confetti being showered down upon us.

The text went like this:

‘Hey, Violet.  I’m Mark, 50, an artist.  Divorced for three years, love the Blues, and would like to meet you.’

He’s perfect and it’s not the way he looks, what he does or the music he listens to.

It’s about the way he texts. Not a single spelling error, no abbreviations, short, sharp, to the point, and hey – he got me at hey.

A good texter is a turn on.

A bad texter – the guy who uses capital letters, says ha ha, takes 45 minutes to reply with two words and uses smiley faces at the end of the two words – should be avoided.

Be scared of these guys:-

  1. So sorry Vio, I gotta cancel again, something’s come up. 🙂 🙂 🙂
  1. Yo Violet U lk kwlu hv gd i’s st u lyk 2 do?
  1. Hey babe, what are you wearing?

It’s kinda clear that number 4 doesn’t want to know what you are wearing, he wants to know what you are not wearing.  Don’t answer him unless he’s French, in which case go for it. Frenchmen can get away with anything.

And if anyone uses LOL and tons of exclamation marks, put rocks in your pockets and walk into the ocean.

Texting in the beginning should be light, fun, a little mysterious, not over the top, not needy, and actually – a phone call after a few short texts is the best thing of all.

Marc, the artist just called. He really sounds divine. He has an Irish accent.  I like the way he says my name. I have a feeling he’s going to be perfect.

I can taste the wedding cake. I’m imagining my dress.

There’s definitely confetti in my future.


14 thoughts on “Beware the man who uses Emoji.

  1. Oh God! I remember my online dating days having to rake through all the terribly written profiles and emails using words like coz, dat, gel (girl), wot, woz etc to find someone who showed some shred of intelligence. why is it so fashionable to come across as a total moron? And the profile pictures!- put your top back on and tidy up that shit hole that I’m assuming is your home! *cringe*

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So funny and TRUE! The first thing I put in my profile is “I’m a dichotomy…” to weed out the guys who don’t know what it means – and – the guys who don’t want to date a woman who knows what it means.
    Love your blog!

    Liked by 2 people

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