I haven’t had sex in my own bed for a long time, but the other night, that changed.
I invited my friend, the one with benefits, for dinner. We’re always at his place, which is perfect, but I decided I was ready to have him over.
I was nervous. I scrubbed every surface in my house, wiped down the cupboard doors, cleaned the windows and re-arranged my underwear. I changed the linen, plumped up the cushions, lit candles and made sure no vibrators were under my pillow.
I pretended I cooked but picked up food from the local Indian take way.
Showered, perfumed, made double sure the kids had no plans to come home, and then let him in.
The house sparkled, and so did I.
He opened the wine and poured two glasses. I served my Mirchi Murgh Massala and we had a fantastic night, eventually making our way to my bedroom.
Let me quickly add that I have not had sex with anyone in my bed ever since the divorce. It was quite a big step.
I may have had sex on my dining room table, in the kitchen and in the bathroom, but that is a different story.
Anyway, it was going really well. We were both in ‘the zone’.
Until, that moment just before, you know, before he was about to go inside me, when he whispered:-
‘Violet, the condoms…’
‘Where are they?’ I whispered back.
Usually, the condoms are at his house, in the bedside table, easy to reach – ribbed or flavoured or extra thin or ultra large, a somewhat amazing variety that are always accessible.
‘It’s your house, Violet.’ He stopped whispering. ‘You should have condoms.’
He’s very difficult this lover of mine.
I jumped out of bed, told him not to go anywhere and started searching. My bedside tables, the bathroom shelves, my handbags, the kitchen, cupboards, everywhere.
Not a condom in sight.
I did however, find the credit card I lost over a year ago, my passport, my Ster Kinekor card and a bonus one thousand rand.
I was more turned on than ever.
But no condoms.
I went back to the bedroom, with my fantastic stash of goodies, but a little sheepish. I did not know how to explain this.
It was okay. He was asleep. Cosy and comfortable.
I hesitate to use the word satisfied.
I smiled, climbed in next to him and went to sleep too.
Which means I still haven’t used my own bed for sex. But I am getting closer.