‘Older man seeking younger woman’

What is it about older men dating younger women?  We women of a certain age are sexy. And interesting, experienced, bright, funny, and did I mention, we’ve very very sexy.

We bring a hellova lot to the party.

We might not be as toned as we were a couple of years ago and maybe we have a few wrinkles (just a few, dammit) but god we have so much else. We’re sexually aware and uninhibited.  We know what we want and we’re not scared to go after it.

So what is it with men?  My best friend is dating a girl twenty years younger than him and it makes me crazy.  I mean, I really like her, but – twenty years younger – it’s insane.

I come across this often. The older man seeking an ‘attractive young woman’.


I think older men want someone who will remind them that they are still breathing. Stroke there ego. Tell them they are fantastic in bed.  Give them back their power when they make a younger woman come.

And it does go the other way too. A lot of young women quite like the idea of an older man. And this is not always about love or  mutual connection. I think it’s about money and power which are both really appealing.

A man who can provide financial stability, pay for overseas tickets and keep a woman in a constant supply of French underwear and champagne can be kind of hard to resist.

In other words, a Sugar Daddy is fabulous!

I try and embrace my age. With age comes a certain confidence as well as a sense of adventure. We lose a lot of fear as we get older and are more willing to explore new things.

But we’re also aware we need to look after ourselves, work out, keep trim and healthy.

Which is why I go to the gym.

I spend a lot of time in the sauna where between sweating and death everyone talks. It’s a great way to get to know people.

Yesterday I was chatting to a young man. It was fun and we sorted out the South African education system, compared our favourite single malts and even flirted a little. I didn’t think of it as flirting though, but when we were walking out he asked for my number.

I choked. He was in his twenties.

When I said ‘no’ it was mostly because I was in shock and didn’t want to be seen as a cougar. And because I have been so judgemental about older men. And younger women. And everyone else.

But mostly because it terrified me. This young guy. With his man bun. Firm muscles. And gorgeously sculpted six pack. And what he might think of my not so perfect body.

Anyway. He persuaded me. He wouldn’t listen to my thing of ‘age’ and ‘what will we talk about’ because he reminded me we’d spent half an hour in the sauna and hadn’t stopped talking. He also told me I had fabulous legs.

So I said yes. And we’re going out tonight. And I’m very very nervous. I’ll let you know how it goes, dear Reader. Every single detail. Unless it turns out he’s a friend of one of my children.

In which case, I’ll be dead.

15 thoughts on “‘Older man seeking younger woman’

  1. That is exactly it. I find it incredibly hard to see young men as sexual objects. They are my kids age dammit. Old men perving over young woman brings paedophile to mind. I just can’t deal.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. We love who we love. Embracing your age while trying to be healthy and fit is awesome. If a man is only interested in younger women, then I certainly wouldn’t be interested in him anyway. Who wants or needs all that drama? I think being ourselves and loving our lives is the best route to a healthy relationship 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I don’t think men would be able to attract younger women if there was no demand? Also I don’t think men get as caught up with the whole “she could be my child’s friend” thing.

    Good luck, I think younger men do have something to offer

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m an older man, and I like older women – don’t get me wrong, a young woman in a sundress on a hot summer’s day … that said, as an older man, I am not attracted to children … I think the taboos and societal constraints we endure create far too many confusions … perv, cougar, etc – we are truly sexual beings! Ok, sorry, I’m done. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You can go on and on if you want to! I get that thing of admiration of a younger woman, a gorgeous body, of course, it’s natural. And love and sex, should all be natural and without stereotype, but there have to be boundaries (law) which I know you agree with, mostly I am just having a good moan and stereotyping all men into wanting the young woman thing…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh I agree with you, my wife espouses it as the ‘trophy wife’ syndrome, and don’t get me started on ‘sugar daddy’ of course I am not Donald Trump. Put it away and return to your toys, sorry for the distraction, lol.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. It is an ego boosting dynamic, although my mom’s parents were 11 years difference in age, lasted the remainder of their lives. A meaningful connection is more important than the age component?


  6. I dated an older guy almost 20 years older than me. I was attracted to him and he didn’t look his age, by the time I realized his age it was too late for me and I thought he doesn’t look it who cares. We were sexually compatible and I enjoyed sex with him a lot. He had an interesting social life which I appreciated, I thought he was above average smart also a bonus point. He made me laugh, sensitive to my insecurities and cooked me lovely meals. What I found funny are assumptions that my expensive overseas trips were paid for by him, or that the champagne I served when he entertained our friends was bought by him. He didn’t like or drink champagne and he refused to pay for it. My friends and some of his friends love champagne and I would pay for it. This was hilarious to watch.

    Sometimes it’s just about attraction, nothing more and nothing less.


  7. I’m almost 9 years old than my wife and we’ve been together over 16 years. I’m 21 years older than my girlfriend but we just click.
    It’s so much more about the person than the number of rings you’d see if you cut them in half.
    Love is love, irrespective of age.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s